The Recession and how to Deal.

Alright, so I'm sure you've heard on the news and basically everywhere that we're in, or headed towards a recession. Hmph, so why aren't people acting like it? I have some theories, mostly consisting of people being stupid and optimistic, optimism being synonymous with stupidity for the purposes of this side note. However this note isn't about my theories on why people are acting like it's the roaring twenties, which btw was followed by the Wall Street Crash of 1929 and eventually the Great Depression... anyone remember that? If so, why are you on my friends list... shouldn't you be dead? (Just kidding, don't be offended- or else... once again, I'm just kidding.)

Well, never fear this note here is about what to do in times of the recession, as advised by me... your one and only source for useless (more or less true, less rather than more) information and advice.

In times of the Recession:


1. When you come into a bit of money, don't go spending it on dumb shit. It's the recession! So forget stuff like personal hygiene, savings and sensibility. Oh no, you should go buy some bling! Because God knows when times get rough you can always eat your brand new clock necklace, which by the way isn't only gangsta, but useful- because it's ANALOGUE and everyone knows digital clocks are going to go down when Y2K rolls around. Oh wait...

Next piece of advice.

2. Don't bother making your lunch at home! It's the recession! You have to conserve the little strength you have, so go spare a few dollars to buy yourself something worth a week's worth of lunch, because what's more important? Being fed for a day with (good) food that you know will one day lead to your untimely demise, or wasting time and energy making yourself lunch you won't enjoy as much?


3. Don't look like a tightass. It's the recession! Make sure you shout all your friends, either at the pub/bar or at lunch. Because that way you'll look like you're not worried about the recession, and when the recession hits you hard perhaps you'll find one of your friends you shouted to 'pay you back' for that drink, if not... :S


4. Get yourself fired from any secure form of employment you have. It's the recession! You have to keep your options open, so that you're able to play the field, and be available when the opportunity to make money for doing nothing arises. Besides, having no job means you won't have to waste money on menial things like transportation (to get to that job) and personal upkeep (for the job), so win win guys.


5. If you can, make sure to sell all your assets and invest into something you think'll be the next big thing. Becomes a shareholder in a company that you know 'nothing' about, surely if you don't know anything about it, it'll surprise you by making you even more richer than you (never) were before! Because who needs a house? It's the recession! You can't afford to live in a stable house with electricity and running water, those things cost money, so do the right thing and sell. In fact, put it up on trademe and sell to the first bidder, it's the recession!


6. If you can get away with it, invent your own currency and try to use it as legal tender at a store. It's the recession! Sure any money is good money. Try a dairy first, and tell them you're the King of your own country and this is legal tender, if they don't believe you, tell them that they are not welcome in your country and storm out of the store, and then try the next store. If you're not successful at any store with your own currency, try monopoly money. It's worth a shot, anything goes in times of the recession.


7. And finally, try to get into jail. It's the recession! Apparently life in the slammer, is a lot better than out of it. With tax payer's money going towards the maintenance of correctional facilities, and the shitty predictions of what people on the outside have coming to them, prison with its three square meals a day, recreational time with acticities to keep you busy and not think about the cell where a bed and (so I've heard) a TV awaits you, what are you waiting for? Free board too, all you have to do is make sure you're in their 'during' the recession, to be released 'after' it. Make sure you obtain an online degree before you come out though, that way you're a criminal with qualifications and not just a 'crim'. White collar crimes are the way to go, btw, because you don't want to be mixed with a bunch of violent sods who'll grind your bones to make their bread, that is, if you're not made their bitch first.



So there you have it 7 simple steps, in no particular order, to winning in the recession. Because no one wants to be completely screwed over. You have to get to the recession before it gets to you, just remember that. Show it who's boss, don't be intimidated by it's 'the' and three syllables. You have to grab the recession by it's metaphorical balls and make it sing falsetto, and when you're out of money with nothing to your name but the clothes on your back, (which you may well lose in a rumble on the streets of South Auckland) just know that 'you' battled the recession and you lost with dignity.
If anyone tells you otherwise you say to them...
"FAIL."

If you took any of this seriously, seek help immediately. Or at least looks up 'satire' in the dictionary, or for the more tech savvy of you, google it.

Jenny was a mutual friend of mine and The Killers.

I actually don't have a friend named Jenny.
I just want to take the blog space to talk about how brilliant the Killers really are.
A mate of mine got us tickets to their Auckland Concert at Vector Arena, which was class because if she hadn't I wouldn't have gone.
Big ups to B.Rad! Best 21st gift so far!
Anyway back to the Killers...

I really do love their music, and although I won't say they're just getting better and better with each album release, I will say that I love each album varyingly.
Hot Fuss would have to be my all time favourite, followed equally by Sam's Town and Day & Age.
I feel that Hot Fuss was not only an amazing debut album, but the songs have stayed with me since their release.
I still obsess over Mr Brightside and smirk at how utterly ironic Glamourous Indie Rock & Roll (which they sadly did not play at their concert last night) is.

I don't have all time favourite songs, but Jenny was a Friend of mine definitely makes the top ten, if I were forced to choose =S

Honestly, their concert was spectacular, and despite being jostled around by a few hundred people, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Except maybe not finding myself standing in front of a few drunk dudes who were seriously weirding me out. I was so close to punching one of them.

However annoying people on the concert floor aside, it was one hell of a night, even if it didn't go on longer than I had expected.




And of course, Mr Brightside. =D

They're so good live.

And since the concert, where they played quite a bit from their new album... I've warmed up a lot to it. I've even warmed up to 'For Reasons Unknown' from Sam's Town, which I wasn't a very big fan of. So yeah, I'm loving 'This is you life' and I regret not filming it, darn. But I filmed Jenny was a Friend of Mine... which, btw was CLAAAASS. I uploaded it onto my youtube account, and will probably post a link to it via twitter. Ah twitter, easy to manage twitter, lol.

I twittered whilst at the concert waiting for the Killers to come out. lol

Anyhoo.. I better go start my essay on The Balkans. Man... I haven't done shit for it.

City of Glass!

Right, so I've read the Mortal Instruments trilogy by Cassandra Clare and I have to say.
I loved it.
City of Bones was wow.
City of Ashes, grrh but wow.
And City of Glass?! Class!!

I'll get this out of the way, before I go on, yes I am 20. But despite this I was pretty hooked.
Didn't hurt that the main characters were easy on the 'imagination' eyes lol. (Have you seen the cover of City of Bones? lol)
Yes, Jace Wayland is my new fictional crush. That's pathetic, but what real guy can compare to a Shadowhunter? I mean, the last guy I went out with ....um the only thing he wielded wasn't special, for one. And he was dumb as a rock. >.<
but Jace Wayland/Morgenstern/Herondale/Lightwood (poor guy how many times does a dude's last name have to change?) he is well... he's definitely not dumb as a rock and he has weapons! And yes, he's so freaking hot. Wow I sound fangirly. I'm not going to do that in this post, or at least not in huge amounts =P

What I'm going to do is give my rant of each installment starting with C.Bones

First of all, I loved how it was set in the city and not some remote town, and even better... there was no high school scenes. =) (which goes for each book)
The female protagonist wasn't a ditz. She also wasn't completely helpless, even if she did have her dumb/useless moments. And yeah, there were times when I wanted to smack her over the head. (Again, that goes for each book)
Nor was she a Mary-Sue (refer to wiki if you don't know what a Mary-Sue is) she had her flaws, flaws in characters make us lesser beings, stuck in reality where there are no Shadowhunters and Demons or Vampires and Werewolves or Fae Folk or Warlocks. =P
I liked that it didn't just focus on one character throughout the entire thing.
And then it got to the bit where we find out that Clary and Jace are *gasp* brother and sister?! Yeah, I put down the book and didn't read it for a DAY, but the need to know what happened gnawed at me until I picked it up and finished it.
I mean, ew incest... but you couldn't help but just hold out hope that it was a huge mistake and they weren't related. You couldn't help but be glad whenever there was a scene with them together, because *sigh*
I liked that Jace wasn't perfect, and that even though he was a Shadowhunter he wasn't this invincible being. And his oneliners... crack. up.

"...Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?'
Jace said, "Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself."
..."At least," she said, "you don't have to worry about rejection, Jace Wayland."
"Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting."

It didn't hurt that he was a complete hottie. Ahem. Without being girly, right, because that's a turn off. lol And in one of the descriptions of him 'he looks a little like an angel and acts a lot like a jerk' is perfect.

Man, is it obvious I get bored/distracted easily. There are a LOT more that I could say about City of Bones alone but I can't be bother typing anymore.

I'm going to skip C.Ashes, don't get me wrong.. I liked it- (even if at the end people were still under the impression that Jace and Clary were still siblings >.<) -actually one thing I need to say about City of Ashes before I go on... Whoa how many times does Simon nearly die before he actually dies?! And even then he's made into a vampire. o.O I was like.. Ah Simon's a Vampire!!!! I have nothing against Simon, in fact he's got some mad oneliners himself, and he took the fact that the girl he was in love with didn't love him back (in that way) pretty well.
-And the scene at the Seelie Court?- *Melt* and yet... *so wrong* haha.


Okay... the book I finished this morning.
City of Glass
So much happened, and yet it was all done in a way that was completely comprehensible and believable (because she'd dropped major hints during the first two novels, that you might not have thought anything of at the time but...yeah you get it) but everything the readers could want for closure.
Honestly, and the characters stayed true to form.
Clary didn't suddenly become this awesome sexy Shadowhunter, but instead went through the motions of being a normal person in abnormal situations. Even if the poor thing is far from normal.
Wow, and the part after the manor should have been 'ew ew ew' but once again you're egging em on. Like... what kind of messed of weirdo does that make us?! I say us because I don't want to be alone in being a weird sicko.
Gosh.
And Max. =(
Okay, is it just me... or was it more easily to be grossed out (when she found out that Sebastian aka the REAL Jonathan, was actually her brother) when she kissed him? I was like, ewww. It cracked me up when Simon was like, "wow and yet you still managed to kiss your brother." Or something along those lines. Haha.
The battlescene was class!
Whoop!
And yes, the best bit. Jace isn't Clary's brother?! They both have angel blood, but they're not siblings!
And to top it off, shame on Valentine. He fully got bounced by the Angel Raziel.
And Jocelyn and Luke!
Alec and Magnus! Magnus is so funny.
I could go on, literally. I could...


But I better go do something productive.

How I spent my Linguistics Lecture.

So basically I spent the better part of my Linguistics 303 lecture doodling. While the lecturer droned on about Pragmatics, I drew up random little stick figure comics with random little conversations.
These were just a couple of my more morbid ones.














They're pretty self explanatory.

I know I should have been listening, but two hours? And (which is a discourse marker, this particular one linking parts of a narrative, or is it linking related ideas? Wow, I really should have listened) the first hour is the most boring -although, obviously most informative part- so can you blame me?














Besides, I got a few laughs out of them... and then I lost the cap of my Jimnie Pencil into this chick's bag but I couldn't be arsed asking her to get my cap from out of her bag.
Now I wished I had because I think my pencil looks retarded without that rounded bit covering the rubber.

Yes, I am rather strange.

Right, so I know I should be studying for the two tests I have next week, and more importantly the test I have this week on Thursday but I can't really be arsed. Wow, I have quite a wonderful mentality towards life and my school work.
My motto has become, "can't be arsed."
It works.
Try it.

And on another note, watched the penultimate episode of Skins Series III. Wow. That's all I have to say. I have to say, I love JJ. His character is so endearing, and I can't wait for the finale. Although I'm a bit bummed that it's ending so quickly.

Wow, it's kind of sad that I'm really excited about something like Skins, when the characters are all about two years my junior, soon to be three. In my defense, when I started watching Skins Series I, I was the same age as the characters lol. Yes, brilliant argument.
I've just stuck with the programme, it's brilliant. In my opinion, despite the real out of it scenarios and unrealistic situations at points, it's one of the best damned things on telly.

Even if it's currently not on TV in New Zealand, at least not Series III. They're doing reruns of Series I, I think they may be leading it all the way up to Series III. (But thanks to me and my rather seedy ways, I will have already seen them all =P)

So I can't remember where I was going with that, or why I even started talking about Skins at all. I'm rather inconsistent, and prone to tangents.

Another 'best on TV -but not really on TV here- right now' for me is, yep you guessed it, NBC's The Office. I have yet to see Season 5, but I've seen all Four previous seasons and they are absolutely hilarious. I'm just dying to watch Season 5, I just have to hold on.

And now I absolutely must go study. Until next time...

Avoidastudyitis

Alright, I'll admit... no matter how hard I try I 'never' get shit done on a Sunday. Unless of course there's something due in on a Monday, but half, no make that all, the time I barely finish whatever it is early Monday morning... proving that I never get anything done on a Sunday.

I'm trying to change this, I really am but what with so many procrastinating outlets, the attempt to actually study is never even attempted.

The attempt to attempt to attempt to study.

The idea is ridiculous, why don't I just stop fucking around and study? Because I can't, it's just... I just can't. There's something seriously wrong with me, I'm not kidding. And I also have a theory. I have Avoidastudyitis disease.
It is very real, very serious and very deadly.

Symptoms include:

• The need to do anything but study.
  
• Constant checking of any social networking profile you have, this includes, facebook, twitter, bebo, or myspace.
• Staring out the window, if you're situated near a window, if not, the wall suddenly becomes so very interesting as does the ceiling.
• Inanimate objects, with your help, begin to move and talk and dance on your table.
• Every little thing that is in no way shape or form connected to what you're trying to study for becomes interesting.
  
• You suddenly find time to watch episodes of shows you either haven't seen before, or have seen many times before. Same goes for movies.
  

There are other symptoms but have yet to be identified, nothing but the facts on my blog. Cough, cough.

Diagnosis
Avoidastudyitis can be easily diagnosed by checking the amount of work that is done by the end of the day, or 'study session' if there is very little to no work done, and you have nothing to show for all the time spent confined in your room but little drawings and updated (facebook/bebo) profiles. Diagnosing Avoidastudyitis is just like disagnosing any other illness, just look for the symptoms and add up the findings to confirm the diognosis.

Treatment
There are currently trial treatments ranging from 'do your work pills' to a good old fashioned 'ass whooping' but these studies have yet to produce a well balanced, and feasible treatment that aids in helping stop Avoidastudyitis from taking over completely.

Prognosis
Due to the lack of a proper treatment, many sufferers from Avoidastudyitis will more than likely fail most of their courses.

What a shame.

So there. I've completely forgotten what I was talking about in the first place, and because I also suffer from 'lazyarse-can'tbebothereditis' I won't scroll up to see for the sake of continuity.

Screw this, I'm going to go watch and episode of Chuck.

-P.S I've recently become addicted to the U.S version of the Office. And I've heard a lot of 'the UK version was better' and yada yada hoo hah. And although I'm only a little way through Season 3, because my mate has yet to give me the rest of Season 3 along with Season 4, I have to say that it is pretty damned funny. It wouldn't have won all those awards if people didn't agree. And sure I haven't watched a full episode of the UK version, and I'm sure it's just as funny, or as some people seem to think, better than the US version but right now I'm in love with the US version.

I do have my gripes, like Steve Carell's character, Michael... can you say annoying!? I can't stand him, but then there are parts in the show where I can't help but feel so sorry for his patheticness.

But on to the commendations, summed up into three characters. Jum Halpert, Pam Beesly and Dwight Schrute. The pranks Jim and Pam (mainly Jim, my favourite character) play on Dwight are priceless and I find myself in hysterics at Dwight's reactions. Honestly, not only were the characters casted well but their lines are brilliant. Other characters are brilliantly done as well, like Stanley, or Ryan the temp (well not anymore). I could go on, but I should stop ... this is just a symptom of Avoidastudyitis, talking about the Office (which I spent a sum of at least 10 or so hours watching) in this long winded fashion.

Okay, I really am outta here.

The Pros and Cons of Sarcasm

Just a note I posted on facebook.

First of all, I'll provide a brief definition of the word; for those of you who who've been living under a rock (retarded starfish-like people) for most of your life, and have no understanding of what sarcasm means or entails.

Sarcasm: n.
1: a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain
2: a) a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual
b) the use or language of sarcasm
Etymology: French or Late Latin; French sarcasme, from Late Latin sarcasmos, from Greek sarkasmos, from sarkazein to tear flesh, bite the lips in rage, sneer, from sark-, sarx flesh; probably akin to Avestan thwarəs- to cut

It's synonymous with 'wit'. It's just a slightly cruder, if not meaner, cousin of the term.


On to the pros and cons.
(Disclaimer: the opinions and views demonstrated in this note are solely those of the author and should not be taken to heart as actual/official findings or beliefs. Offense should not be taken, as the note is not intended to harm or offend -much.)


PRO
-You can separate the strongminded from the weakminded with but a well placed sarcastic remark.
CON
-You can also wind up with a black eye if not handled correctly, you've not assessed the situation as well as you initially thought. i.e Weak mind, strong fist.


PRO
-You know what you're talking about even if your adversary/victim does not. The use of irony introduces an element of humour which may make the criticism seem more polite and less aggressive.
CON
-However, understanding the subtlety of this usage requires second-order interpretation of the speaker's intentions. Which idiots lack, and if you're alone and no one with the same caliber mind is around, it detracts from the hilarity of the moment. Recounting the moment to someone isn't as good as having the person there to share it.


PRO
-You can sound sincere, even if you're not. "Oh joy."
CON
-The recipient of the remark takes the remark at face value as enthusiasm, or worse, a compliment.


PRO
-Sarcasm is synonymous with wit.
CON
-It's also been referred to as the lowest form of wit.
(Albeit by imbeciles whose feelings -what is that?- are hurt or something equally gay.)


PRO
-It is awesome in every non-sarcastic sense of the word.
CON
-Not everyone thinks so, but they don't matter do they?
(Just kidding, you do, you matter a great deal. -classic example of sarcasm-)




There are a lot more pros (and for the sake of diplomacy, cons as well) that have not been mentioned, but when one is stretched for time one has to cut the good things in life short to be continued at a more suitable time.

Until then, I leave with you another example of a biting sarcastic remark.
"What? No one hates you, people just don't see the lighter side to your unlikable qualities, therefore not liking you very much."

P.S. If you have any suggestions feel free to comment with them, be it a pro, a con, or both. Unless of course you had trouble reading the note, then I don't think you have enough brain capacity to do so. So do yourself a favour and don't stress yourself.

Another blog, another planet.

Disclaimer: This blog and its contensts may be utterly ridiculous and is intended solely for recreational use, of the blogger and/or the reader of the blog. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author (and likeminded individuals) and do not necessarily represent those of sound mind.


Hi!!!

Well brilliant. I don't have all that much to say, so I've decided to throw up (my middle finger to middle america) just kidding... a Haiku.

Anti-Conformity

Categorised Sheep
Following the Latest Trend
Leave the Flock to Live

Turns out I do have something to say... isn't that how it always pans out?

Anyway, I'm giving the whole blogging thing, I believe it's pronounced ogging, the BL is silent, another go, a fresh start if you will. But I've given up on 'Ramblings of a Deranged Islander.'
So...Fresh Starts, because the best part is hoping that the next time round will be better than the last.

Right, so the reason for the title 'So I heard...' well... isn't it obvious? Everything we say is an utterance that may or may not have been uttered before and than reproduced at one's (in this case mine) leisure. But in a plagiaristic manner, oh no no no... plagiarism is a sin in my eyes and should also be a sin in yours. Give credit where credit is due, or no doubt you'll get sued. Or, in New Zealand, have your internet connection turned off.

How fucked up is this? Guilt Upon Accusation law 'Section 92A' calls for internet disconnection based on accusations of copyright infringement without a trial and without any evidence held up to court scrutiny. Messed. Up.

However I have notes to copy into little notebooks that my friend convinced me to buy (instead of normal exercise books or a large leaf pad) before I find myself stretched for time. Because I have this habit of overlooking time and procrastinating like mad, well good.
Erm, no doubt this won' t get updated for ages, but one thing that I update pretty regularly... my twitter account. :P I'm slightly addicted. Matz_Enig

Until next time...

Adios.